Does anyone else feel the weight of time? I've been feeling it lately, on account of being so busy. Many overtime hours, three kids, a wife on bedrest expecting our fourth... trying to fit in time for blogging and writing has been a challenge (though, of course, if that's my biggest worry, things are pretty good). Time is a precious commodity; sometimes, when you have a lot of if, you forget just how precious. Remembered hours: some spent well, some spent... not so well.
I have lots of ideas and ambitions for this year, but finding the time may not be possible. Trying to be a better blogger, a better writer, a better father. There are things I would like to do. All I can hope is that the pressure of time has its own value, an intense pinpoint force that can focus effort. Because sometimes you can do what you have to do only because you have to do it -- walls can breed an intense desire to climb.
Time as pressure, as an incredible weight -- but there can be something purifying about embracing this. The weight of your life creates this pressure, a geologic force created from the weight of used time, compressing things downward, downward. Sometimes the imagination crystallizes and things come clear and the vast pressure distills something clear and perfect and sharp out of the coal dust swirling off the time of your days, making something beautiful within the smallest window of space and time.
9 comments:
We can only do our best. Admire you guys with kids - and soon to be four? I'd crumble under the pressure.
Yes, you're speaking to my own issues today. I have more ideas to write than I have time to develop, and way to many things in my day-life going untended. Busy busy; but better than being bored :)
.......dhole
I think the pressure pushes me to prioritize. That's a lot of P's.
But I totally get/agree with what you're saying.
On the other hand, here I am with nothing to do and lots of time. I can think of many things I could do, but... Oh well. You'll probably never find the right niche to be honest - the ultimate balance of work and play. It's probably like the Horace quote I am about to misquote: we strive best in adversity.
The key is balance. I find that I can sneak time in here and there when life surprises me. Every so often, it'll turn its back on me, and that's when I'll be playing catch-up on my writing.
Yes.
That's why I appreciate posts like this and like Nathan Bransford's recent post, "How to Keep Writing When the S*** Hits the Fan." (sorry, i don't know how to link to a post in the comments). Even when it's not necessarily s***, but life itself that's keeping me from writing, I draw strength from knowing that others struggle with time issues.
I play right at the edges of what I can do all the time, feeling its sharpness rather keenly. And then there's the days when I just need a nap, for the love of all that's holy.
Well said, and completely agreed. I get so much more done when I have less time to do it.
Wow, you captured something very profound here about the experience of pressure.
I've never experienced that, I've always kept my life relatively quiet. But you almost (almost) made me wish for more pressure to experience what comes from that. Coal into diamonds.
I haven't been by in awhile, Bryan, so I just want to say congratulations on your 4th! That's wonderful. :)
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