Thursday, February 24, 2011

11 comments:

Jen Chandler said...

This is elegant. A beautiful snapshot. Thank you for sharing this.

I think my favorite line, among so many, is "Today, snow is falling, and I like that. It makes me dream of ghosts."

~Jen

jbchicoine said...

Beautiful...sensitive writing.

the image of "blood draining into the soil, tree roots seeking out the blood, drinking it, and the leaves above rustling with new life" and then tying that in at the end "She wants to know if her father is in the bark of the hemlocks, in the clamoring branches of the dogwoods, or in the sighing pines." Just perfect...

Marlene Nash-McKay said...

Thank you so much for sharing (and for posting Bryan). It is absolutely beautifully written.. well done.

D.G. Hudson said...

Beautiful imagery in this post. It's subtle writing that touches the heart, especially if one has lost someone dear.

My favorite sentences were:

"Give me a kissy" (a child's memory) and "they never knew my father" (regret).

Enjoyed reading your short fiction, J.M. Thanks Bryan for hosting your short fiction Thursdays, I'm starting to look forward to these enticing bits of literature.

JM Leotti said...

Thanks so much Bryan for posting this on your blog. It's so satisfying when another writer appreciates what you've written, so you made my day! :)

Thanks Jen C., jbchicoine, Marlene, and DGH for your generous comments. Some of the words you used to describe my writing surprised me, and so you all made my day as well! The very best for you and your writing!

Susan Kaye Quinn said...

Just beautiful. So emotional and tender. Thank you for sharing. :)

JM Leotti said...

Thanks so much, Susan!

Matthew Rush said...

I remember reading the draft of this on Janice's blog. It's even more awesome now, but this is till my favorite line:

I imagined their blood draining into the soil, tree roots seeking out the blood, drinking it, and the leaves above rustling with new life.

JM Leotti said...

Thanks Matthew! Yes, I wanted to keep that line from the beginning. Thanks for stopping by and checking out the finished piece. :)

Okie said...

great writing. vibrant. engaging.

HowLynnTime said...

I love the idea of the father watching her as part of the world. How it connects her to him is so very sweet. Thanks for sharing. Very much enjoyed it.