Ink: What's this big gap in the middle of my philosophy section?
Word Gremlin: Nothing.
Ink: It looks like a gap to me.
Word Gremlin: Gaps are usually made of nothing.
Ink: Well, yes, you miserable little devil, but where are all the philosophy books that are supposed to be inside that gap to make it not a gap at all?
Word Gremlin: I ate them.
Ink: Ate them? Why?
Word Gremlin: Personal edification. Plus, I was hungry.
Ink: I thought you were eating old picture books?
Word Gremlin: I did. They were good.
Ink: Yeah? What does a picture book taste like, anyhow?
Word Gremlin: The usual. Tastes like children.
Word Gremlin: You can only eat so many.
Ink: Well, now my philosophy section looks crappy. I think you ate Francis Bacon.
Word Gremlin: Yup. Oddly enough, he tasted like bacon. Floppy bacon, with lots of juice. None of that charred stuff your wife eats.
Ink: What about Hobbes?
Word Gremlin: Fish.
Word Gremlin: Big Fish.
Ink: Hey, that's the name of a book.
Word Gremlin: I ate that, too.